Killer Kids To Watch As You Home School
By RodneyHatfieldJr for MoviesI feel so sorry for parents. They are finally realizing that it wasn’t all those teachers that had the problem but the seed they spawned. I really would love to be a fly on the wall so I could watch all those parents that think a spanking will damage a child beyond repair is reacting to inescapable weeks of quarantine with their bundles of special joy. Oh the irony. I hope you stocked the liquor cabinet well so you might have help coping with your angelic rugrats.
I’m not here to talk about how kids and parents are interacting in isolation. You made them, they are your responsibility. I’m here to talk about killer kids. The meanest of the mean. Baddest(its a word in slang I looked it up) of the bad. We are going to look at movies where the antagonist is a cute, wonderful, innocent child. Well on the surface anyway. These kids are evil, vile, sinister, and all together mean. With these kids, murder and mayhem is as common as crayons.
So lets take a look at 10 of my favorite Killer Kid movies.
Children of the Corn 1984
Few films are more synonymous with the killer kid than this Stephen King adaptation. A young couple find themselves stranded in the rural town, where they encounter a mysterious religious sect of children. It creates enough atmosphere, and twisted kids to make your skin crawl.
This movie is the reason I still glance over more than normal when I drive by a cornfield. Just to be on the safe side. There is a remake, but this one is the better one in my opinion.
Home Movie 2008
The story is basically a found-footage video epistolary of David and Clare Poe who decide to take their twins and move to upstate New York. Everything seems fine in their milquetoast environment, but the twins are a bit off and have taken to stapling living things to trees. The family plummets into a nightmare with parents versus kids.
The Bad Seed 1956
The mother of all Killer Kid movies. Rhoda, a spoiled brat in pigtails who has everyone fooled thinking she is the epitome of grace and good manners. Everyone that is except her mother who knows Rhoda has an evil side. When Rhoda doesn’t get what she wants she takes matters into her own hands by whatever means necessary.
This is the movie I tell people to watch when they are tell me they thinking about starting a family. I told you I was a A-hole.
The Children 2008
Two families spend Christmas on an English estate. Each couple has brought their children for a fun-filled weekend of holiday cheer. But the kids contract a weird virus that turns them into maniacal killers. One by one their parents are plucked off in the worst bloody ways.
This movie is like taking a Hallmark Christmas movie and putting it in a blender on puree. I want to feel sorry for the kids, but they are just evil.
The Omen 1976
The king of Killer Kids. Politician and new father Robert fails to tell his wife that their biological child died during childbirth and he has adopted another baby named Damien instead. This is a classic masterpiece. It has it all; stars, atmosphere, solid story, and a ever elevating sense of danger. Plus it has a hellhound Rottweiler.
I watched this when I was 8 when it showed on TV for the first time. It traumatized me. Between the hanging, and the big wheel scene where she was standing at the banister. Those scenes burnt into my memory. I don't care if he dresses like Angus Young, the kid creeps me out to this day. Good film by the way.
Village of the Damned 1960,1995
Pick whichever you like. Both are good, just the original is set in a British village and the remake is in California. The premise is almost the same. The entire town blacks out, later find that the women are suddenly pregnant. The kids born all carry with them the same characteristics, white hair, light eyes, and no personalities. Crossing them or provoking them results in some kind of psychic link which leads to people getting harmed or worse.
The ultimate creepy kid movie. Their looks and persona alone is enough, but they also are psychic. We need to learn it is never a good idea to piss off albino’s.
Orphan 2009
Do you like movies that brain rape you without any kind of lube? Do I have a movie for you. Couple Kate and John decide to adopt a cute little girl. Falling for the sweet charms of little Esther, the couple take her home.
That is all the lead-up I am giving. Watch it, then take a hot shower to wash the dirtiness off yourself and then take a nap.
The Brood 1979
Dr. Hal Raglan, a doctor of questionable ethics who tries to get his patients to overcome past trauma with psychoplasmic therapy, a form of psychological transference where traumatic events are released through suppressed emotions.
I would love to know what Cronenberg was on when he creates his stories. Well he does not disappoint in this one. Imagine entities dressed in snowsuits, trauma, and psychological scars. Now couple that with the fact you really don’t know who is or isn't crazy. One of the few films I rewatched right after seeing it the first time. Just to be sure I didn't miss anything. I'm sure I did. It's a Cronenberg.
Brightburn 2019
Tori and Kyle Breyer are saddened that any attempts at having a child have failed, until one day a mysterious light falls from the sky and they discover a child inside. They name him Brandon and he seems like the perfect kid. But upon reaching puberty Brandon begins to exhibit a darker side.
Part superhero, part horror. The only reason why I listed this is because I’m not much of a Superman fan. Never have been. For me, it was ok. I just like seeing Superman being a bad guy.
Case 39 2009
Emily Jenkins is a overworked social worker who decided to take on 10-year-old Lilith whose parents tried to stuff her into a lit oven. Jenkins decides to bring Lilith into her own home until another family can foster her.
By the end of the movie you wont think stuffing her into a hot oven doesn’t seem like a bad idea.
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